Crying in the Wilderness

“Are you the one who was to come,
or should we expect someone else?”

That day by the river—
in front of God and everyone—
I pointed at him
like I was leading the cavalry
and cried out,
“Look!! The Lamb of God
who takes away the sin of the world!”

Later,
as my disciples were leaving by droves
to follow him,
I braced myself,
and explained to one of the few remaining,
“He must increase, and I must decrease.”

I believed it…I believed it…
I believed it so much
it was my undoing.
And because I believed it,
everyone else started believing it.

But now,
the dead air grips my bones
with both hands
and shakes the cage of my ribs.
Now,
the stench of wasting humanity
makes my head spin
like a busted compass.
Now,
in the twilight of my heart,
it’s either him
or me,

and I need to be sure.